the zhaf speaks

Sunday, September 23, 2007:




Outdated. But still, haha.



-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 7:14 pm

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Iraq wins Asian Cup - In Awe of The Human Spirit

http://bushidoblog.wordpress.com/2007/07/31/iraq-wins-asian-cup/

That Iraq won the Asian Cup is news old and stale. The writer's assertion and subsequent take on the issue is however, an entirely refreshing bolt from the blue.

By no means are we channeling our logical muse if we swallow wholesale the following line of reasoning -

1) Iraqis win Asian Cup.
2) Iraqis are thus shown to be "a bunch of indomitable, barbarian sonsabitches. I repeat that. In the best way possible."
3) Their demonstrated prowess in football (soccer for you Yankee folk), belies a nascent capabilities in self-governance.
4) Amerikan Meddlers... Leave!

We wouldn't deign to tell Prez Bush and Gen Petraeus to scram based on the above of course. Notwithstanding the fact that the realms of public administration, policy and governance are far removed from those of impassioned football, the causal link between superior soccer and a capability to self-govern is as corporeal as the existence ofSanta Claus and his favourite reindeer - Red-nosed Rudolph.

But enough of my lyrical waxing on the logical demerits of the blogger's assertion. All that stashed safely aside and moving on, the last paragraph (see below) he penned resonated vigorously with the soul-strings deep inside. He transcends the pedestrian mundaneity of the rather limited human logos and exits the realm of cognitive certainty. He stokes embers, nascent or otherwise, which must surely burn somewhere in each and every one of our souls. Invoking the human spirit, a bold challenge is issued. But surely, with all the preceding platitudes on logic, we wouldn't allow ourselves a cursory association with the fatuous, indefinable notions of the spirit? Would we foolishly toss logic kicking and screaming out of the window, and permit ravenous sentiment the desecration of the hallowed order of reason?

But truly, what else might the passionate, beating hearts of humanity listen to? What else effectively sets emotions ablaze, and moves our species towards conviction and eventual action?

Any person concerned with the leadership/administration/
governance of self or groups of any size (aka everyone), can ill-afford non-cognizance of the awesome potential of the human spirit.

For quick reference - the last paragraph from the blog.
"Message to the Singaporean government and people: Forget your new stadium, forget the sports school, forget everything else. If you want to produce a world class soccer team, nothing beats the last-minute stamina and the pure will to win that must be searched for in the human spirit itself. Champions are not made by gyms. Neither are they made by the ridiculous academic requirements that you put up in your sports school necessarily enable you to attract the best and the brightest in their respective games. Champions are made by something invisible…and it is up to each and every man and woman to search his or her own soul for that something that makes a champion. Think about our Sports Vision for 2010 and the farce it has now become…we have less than three years…and Iraq just made a mockery of all our goals. What can we do?"

So dearest reader, what say you?



-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 7:40 am

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Saturday, September 08, 2007:



The High Society collection at That CD Shop is immaculate. This particular track is off their Lust compilation. Very, very impressive.



-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 12:51 pm

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Thursday, August 30, 2007:



rockin' on.



-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 11:21 pm

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Monday, August 27, 2007:

Respect the law of process. It never happens in a day, for champions aren't made in the ring, only recognized there.

---

After they scolded Arman, instinctively I gave him a hug, and loaded him up piggy-back, whilst carrying nenek's breakfast up three storeys. The little tyke's resilient, we all are, or at least were, at one time or another. But if only we'd deal with the bad by leading him to the good instead of reinforcing the negatives.

---

There's always a price to pay. Pay it forward, live day-to-day, or clear bad debts. Gary my old friend, I lack profundity. I am merely bumbling with the challenges of my present reality. Making it up on the fly, calibrating. Its simple, but it isn't always easy. The superfluous aphorisms are my tentative attempts to delineate the realms of those things which are far gone, from the sifting sands of the mutable, to make corporeal the abstruse abstractions and ephemeral feelings. To hopefully magnify joy, wonder and euphoria, and to diminish anger, resentment and sorrow.

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If you can't have the best of everything, make the best of everything you have.



-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 6:52 pm

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Friday, August 17, 2007:

Quoted from wikipedia:

(Benjamin) Graham wrote that investment is most intelligent when it is most businesslike, a statement which Warren Buffett regarded as the most important words about investment ever written. Graham said that the stock investor is neither right nor wrong because others agreed or disagreed with him; he is right because his facts and analysis are right.

Damn straight.

And peculiarly so, value investing, religion, and personal effectiveness seem to converge.

Value investing in a purely business sense is synonymous with the search for corporate integrity.

Religion espouses living a life replete with integrity.

Personal effectiveness has personal integrity enshrined in its foundations.

---

To Read
1)Value Investing - From Graham to Buffett and Beyond by Bruce Greenwald
2)The Intelligent Investor by Benjamin Graham





-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 2:16 pm

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Tuesday, August 14, 2007:

And when you do it. That matters too, doesn't it? Nebulous questions. The what, how, why, when of it all. Questions the idle mind indefatigably pursues. Circles never end.

Timing aside. For as long as it takes. For now?

And I can't help but agree with Raeza, that coming together after time apart valiantly serves to reaffirm the aye or nay and reveals the true nature of the duet. Perhaps not time apart, as much as it is the search within and without for clarity, fulfilment and purpose. It doesn't quite come together ideally picturesque, when you have frosting without the cake.

So bake the cake.

In any case, watching that particular episode of The Apprentice was ultimately gratifying. I'm glad not just one, but both of those ladies were fired, and more delighted still that only the best were left standing. He may be metrosexual but he got the job done. I'm rooting for him to get the girl. He probably knows deep inside it'll matter more than winning the Apprentice.

On another note, the months of cranial degeneration must be reversed. Whether I finally decide on uni or plunging into the deep-end of salaried work, I will need my wits about me.



-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 5:50 am

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Friday, August 10, 2007:



I thoroughly enjoyed the pirates trilogy, and the music is darned bloody good stuff too. Some music here from the ending credits (pretty sure its credits and not titles) from the 2nd part of the trilogy. My fav portions are the dark sinister parts with organ blasting and contrarily so - the quaint little music box. Overall though, it's a brilliant short summary of the stereoscapes of the whole movie. Less than 9 minutes too haha.


free music


Returns A King. The choristers gloriously start off, tribute to Leonidas return from the rites of passage signifying not only a Spartan's ascendancy into manhood, but those which allow him claim over birthright - Kingship of Sparta. Leads into the portions where the retarded Persian messengers ride impetuously into the Spartan city square. And are PWNED. MONSSSSTER KILL. Bloody noobcakes.

THIS... IS... SPARTAAAAA

free music

Here's "Goodbye My Love" from 300. Corresponds to the part where Leonidas decides to "go for a stroll up North" with his entourage of 300. Of course goodbye to his wife and son.

You can't fully appreciate the songs without the accompanying visual media. Nevertheless they still are fine compositions alone. Troy yesterday was brilliant too, especially Achilles' theme. Though I can't find clips on both imeem and blogmusik.



-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 12:12 pm

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Row you lazy whores, row! Greeks are dying!
-Ajax. Troy.

And how could anyone bear to stand on the sidelines.

First national day I haven't been able to see the fireworks from my window. The new house built behind mind blotted out the view. Crummy.

But yes, how age changes us. What a world of difference. From the boy who absolutely loathed flag raising ceremonies and pledge taking. And now feeling pride and ardour burning during the march past and stuff.

It's cool to be anti-establishment. Or at least it seemed to be. But it isn't leading to anything meaningful. Not for me. So yeah we grow older. And it's time for me to be boring.

Yes, I'm still not exactly enamoured by the pledge, nor the national anthem. Corrinne May and Kit Chan, while not shabby aren't top of my charts. But still. Underneath it all, so much worth holding on to. So much that resonates, that touches a nerve. So much worth fighting for, literally, figuratively, however so.

Fight. Maybe it's about 42 years, or maybe its about all our tomorrows.



-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 3:30 am

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Thursday, August 09, 2007:

When you go
That any of us will go, is as certain as passing on or taxes.

Don't ever think I'll make you turn to stay
The person convinced against their own will, remains unconvinced still.

And maybe when you get back
Said pale-skinned girl from Harry Potter - "What we lose has a tendency to come back to us".

I'll be off to find another way
For life moves on, inexorably. And still certain constants punctuate heart and soul as life's currents move us along.

Above - Wreckage of random discombombulated thoughts and My Chemical Romance lyrics. Go figure.

---

I'm currently wondering if a healthy respect for reality, and absolute faith are diametrically opposed. Regardless, the voice of my conscience beckons - ever so shrill - in the middle of the nascent twilight.

That I might define myself through the halcyon visions of the future, of all that God would permit me to be, of all that I can push myself to be.

The world doesn't change, but we do. How many times has that aphorism slipped off my tongue ever so glibly. Ever the challenge to comply.

---

The barrier to change is not too little caring; it is too much complexity.

- Bill Gates

---

Perhaps the time is nigh, to shirk the comfort and intellectually incapacitating influence of the singular colours of black and white. To explore the realms of the indeterminate shades of grey. To surrender to Mother Process. For Father Outcome might be consorted with only when outside the arena, or when we have finally arrived at his abode.

Verily, with every difficulty, there is relief.
Verily, with every difficulty, there is relief.



-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 5:50 am

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Monday, August 06, 2007:

The ultimate responsibility for our lives is ours, and ours alone. To have and to hold. To squander or to exalt. Where we are the mere end of the intimate cause-effect relationship our aggregate decisions have with the inevitable outcomes.

We all choose the level we will play at. Some settle for less, and are capable of contentment. That is appropriate of course, for a niche exists for each and everyone of us, I'd believe. I however, have been settling for less for far too long. I want to step up to the plate, as terrifying as it might be, as onerous a responsibility as it would be to bear.

I only hope I am possessed of the requisite strength of character, moral fibre, and courage - to finally grow up and become what and who I need to be, to play at that higher level.

So dear Lord, keep me ever so close, allow me to hold to my deepest realisations, always. Keep me on the straight and nary, ever in Your service. Emblazon purpose and fulfilment as constant foci in my life, with integrity the common denominator and interminable witness throughout. Leave my heart open and my mind insatiable. Let the fires burn in my belly evermore and may compassion buttress my spirit. And still Thy undeserving servant seeks sufficient protection from the trials and tribulations of the world. In place of absolution from pain and agony, grant me instead Your divine guidance and indestructible cloak of faith, for this wayfarer wishes with all his heart to travel light.

For all I fear should be of naught but You.



-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 4:31 am

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Thursday, August 02, 2007:

Right now. There is nothing more in the world I yearn for, than to see your smile once more.

So there's patience. And good things do come to those who wait.

Till we meet again.

---

The figurative rollercoaster aside, I haven't felt such relief and joy in a long while. But I realise I'll be late for snooker with my brother soon, so we'll go through this another day.



-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 12:42 am

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Sunday, July 29, 2007:

What does it all lead to? What does it all mean?

Sometimes I do get by fine, other times, sometimes, it gets a tad challenging. Will I get through this? Yes, we all do. We stick at it. But at this moment, the silence is deafening. The vacuum is constricting. My faults are glaring - staring right back at me in the mirror.

The great night last night - spent watching Simpsons at The Cathay, of witty repartee exchanged in between sonic strips of jazz, rock and pop at Timbre, of shrewd safeties over pool and out-of-this world shots from my opponents, and from the bros saying that I seem like I might know where I am going. Do I?

Reality is a harsh slave-driver. Thank goodness for God who pushes us towards acceptance, conviction and faith in His inscrutable and ineffable ways.

Grant me the courage to change what I can. Patience for that which I cannot. Judgment sound enough to discern one from the other.



-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 4:53 am

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Sunday, July 22, 2007:

It will be a short work-week ahead. I have every intention of making it one of rejuvenation and consolidation, God willing.

6 years and still, X resonates.
"Wai no inochi o yaru ai te ya" - My life for whom I love. Credited to Sorata of course.
And Seishirou is as always, uber cool. Nonchalance and nonplussed-ness personified.
More on this someday.

Supper at Upper Thomson with YP was good. What was great was hearing YP's crazy idea to resume NS before finishing up his last 2 years at Amherst. As we agreed, it would probably be for the best to blaze through the remaining brain-sapping time in NS and back to the US of A after that, thus minimising cranial shock caused by interruptions between the end of the degree and the fledgling beginnings of his time in Public Service.

Of course, among other things, prata BOMB is still Nagasaki and Hiroshima combined. Amazing. Absolut. Yumness.

Confluence was somewhat inspiring. Rather, Dr Ng was. How does someone non-military with a medical education rise to the post of Second Minister for Defence? To his credit however, he did seem brilliant, and thoroughly abreast with the issues of the day. The articulate and humurous civil servant seems to be such a rarity, or perhaps I'm mingling in different circles. However, I couldn't abide by his answers to the questions on the burgeoning income gap, and coping with the rising cost of housing and living in Singapore. "Keeping housing affordable" is scantly sufficient.

Harry Potter with Aqil was rather charming. As of yesterday, I have become... a Harry Potter fan! Order of the Phoenix finally fleshed it out. I can relate to it. The demons within. The uncertainty of what you're becoming. The occasional fear of the repercussions of doing what is right and proper. Wondering what exactly would be right and proper. Fear of your own capabilities. And of course we don't mind the dazzling and visually spectacular magical battles either. It's interesting enough that... I might actually read the whole saga. GG.

So decide, prioritise, make your move. And do your worrying before the bets are placed.

And yes YP, you were right - after a fashion. I've never been and felt quite this way. Emphasis of course on the "been". It's the most convenient rationalisation to say it will all pass in time. So time will tell, and I'll get back to you eventually, either about how I have that much going on and life is splendid, or about how I have that much going on and though life is rather splendid, the thoughts of her still surface occasionally. Together with the wistful longing no less.

And right now. Tonight, tonight. The rain falls. Nice, cool and absolutely perfect for my journey into dreamland.



-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 10:00 pm

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is there any way that i can stay, in your arms?

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zhaf ex-RJ2SO3D
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Archives


visitors:




- - - - -


shadow striker perpetually in disguise,


sinister coward don't you realise,


that backstabber, you are nothing,


for i find you so lacking,


pity that's all you'll ever be,


someone who can't face up to me.


- - - - -



can't touch me, not now, not ever.


don't try stoppin me, it's a futile endeavour.


- - - - -


Hope is the faint glimmer in the dark, that which illumes the despondent depths of despair.


Hope is the rope that tethers me to the prospect of brighter tomorrows, keeping me from an awry descent into a place where all that is important to me is long gone and irretrievable.


Hope floats, buoyed by the kind words of loved ones, those we used to love, those who stopped loving us, and even those we love without ever realizing it.


Hope is my face turned to the high heavens, arms outstretched, in prayer. It is the leap of faith where I let go. Where I do what I can and must do, and acquiesce, "God, I trust in you. Do what You will with me. I am in Your fold now."


Life at times - Scary, mortifying, terrifying. Something I'm not always prepared for. But I will stand my ground.


For the pain of letting go of my dreams, of wondering "what if?" would be far more excruciating than the long and arduous road that ends in a glorious reality where dreams are manifested through my blood, sweat and toil.


And yes, I do need help. So help me God.


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